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Professor Dud

by The Dead Heads

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1.
Haunted Camping Adventure: Intro 01:18
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2.
Graveyard Gravy 01:46
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Graveyard ghoul Graveyard glam Graveyard gravy Graveyard clam Grab the graveyard gravy Grab the graveyard gravy Grab the graveyard gravy Grab the graveyard gravy Graveyard goon Graveyard graham Graveyard gravy Graveyard ham Grab the graveyard gravy Grab the graveyard gravy Grab the graveyard gravy Grab the graveyard gravy Solo Roastin’ pork butt on the fire at night Still nice and rich yeah it tastes alright Pullin’ that pork in the tent all night Still nice and rich yeah it tastes alright
3.
Scene: Unpacking The Supplies 01:11
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4.
Girls Like Us (Guys LOVE Us!) 01:18
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Girls like us….guys love us Girls like us….guys love us Girls like us….guys love us Girls like us….yeah! ...guys love us...yeah! Girls like us.....yeah! ...guys love us...yeah! Girls like us….yeah! ...guys love us...yeah! Girls like us.....yeah! ...guys love us...yeah! (panting during solo) Girls like us….guys love us Girls like us….guys love us Girls like us….guys love us
5.
Scene: Vivarin and Jolt Cola 01:11
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6.
Coach Kane 02:08
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He makes all the calls Coach Kane! He holds all the balls Coach Kane! He calls all the shots Coach Kane! He grabs all the butts Coach Kane! Coach Kane, he’s insane Vivarin and cocaine Coch Kane, he’s mint Dresses like Duke, but he talks like Flint, yeah He makes all the calls Surprise! He holds all the balls Snake Eyes! He calls all the shots Now you nose! He grabs all the butts And blowing is half the battle! Coach Kane, he’s insane Vivarin and cocaine Coch Kane, he’s mint Dresses like like Duke, but he talks like Flint yeah Yo Joe He’s so mint He’s so mint He’s so mint Coach Kane Talks like Flint Talks like Flint Talks like Flint Coach Kane
7.
Scene: The Campfire Story 05:40
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8.
Throwing Candy At Christmas 02:06
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Throwing candy at Christmas Watch him get pissed-mas Throwing candy at Christmas Watch him get pissed-mas Glasses red like Rudolph’s nose - He blows Throwing candy at Christmas Watch him get pissed-mas Throwing candy at Christmas Watch him get pissed-mas Santa sweatpants soaking in the sink - He stinks Throwing candy at Christmas Watch him get pissed-mas Throwing candy at Christmas Watch him get pissed-mas He stinks!
9.
Final Scene: Flat Foot Is Here! 02:51
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10.
Wizard Wonderland 03:12
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Here comes the king He sings like Sting He swings the swing At Burger King Here comes the queen She sings like Queen She scoops the cream At Dairy Queen Here comes the prince He sings like Prince Jazzy Jeff Stone And the Fresh Prince Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha (solo) Here comes the king He sings like Sting Here comes the queen She sings like Queen Here comes the prince He sings like Prince Jazzy Jeff Stone And the Fresh Prince Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha It’s a wizard wonderland!
11.
Haunted Camping Adventure: Outro 00:51
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12.
Prof. Dud Intro 01:10
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13.
Prof. Dud 04:40
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I’m Prof. Dud, make monsters out of mud I eat mice for breakfast and drink some blood I’ve got a scary castle made of clay I learned from Mr. Rogers, I watch him every day Turn turkeys into zombies, aint that fun I control the moon, I control the sun I’m Prof. Dud, make monsters out of mud I eat mice for breakfast and drink some blood I take throat spray because I’m hoarse But I don’t neigh, no I don’t I made it myself, it’s on my shelf I play with yo-yos and I play with myself I’m Prof. Dud, make monsters out of mud I eat mice for breakfast and drink some blood
14.
Fusion For Breakfast 04:20
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Out of waffles, no syrup to stick Asked Christmas for some, he said suck my uhh, suck my uhh No, no Capt. Crunch Where the hell are my Fruit Loops? Let’s break into a science lab And drink some fusion Nash into your neck if I don’t get my vitamin C There’s nothing in the house, all the cupcakes are stale Crumb cake time in weird land if I can’t get my vitamin D I’ll drink the wine if you spoil the milk Then again… We might have fusion Might have fusion Butter the toast, butter the jam Stick an apple in my hand, in my hand Breakfast time in weird land In my hand, in my hand Breakfast time in weird land In my hand, across the land, in the sand Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion!
15.
Airplane Dog 03:52
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In the sky clouds in the air That damn dog is everywhere Well, look at his legs, they look like wings Where do you suppose he got them things? He’s wicked cool, I know for a fact He shampooed my rug and massaged my back Now look at him fly, where did he go? Where did he get those wonderful toes? Airplane Dog, Airplane Dog Getting, getting’ high Airplane Dog, Airplane Dog Shootin’ in the sky In my fridge looking for a snack He shampooed my rug and massaged my back Cuttin’ up a sandwich, getting’ some Lay’s Drinkin’ New York seltzer, it’s been flat for days And once he’s through, you know where he’s at Massaging my rug shampooing my back He’s been living in my house for years and years Where did he get those wonderful ears? Huh! Airplane Dog, Airplane Dog Getting, getting’ high Airplane Dog, Airplane Dog Shootin’ in the sky Airplane - Dog Airplane - Dog Airplane - Dog Airplane - Dog Well, he’s chasing cats, it’s lots of fun They make good pets except they weigh a ton Now he’s at the movies watching UHF With his girlfriend Wanda and his cousin Jeff So if you’re alone, or into drugs Into paper mache or bathroom rugs Airplane Dog will be your friend Staying with you till the very end
16.
Horsey Sauce 08:11
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Grind my horsey into some pulp Cut my horsey into bits Twist my horsey in a meat grinder Then grate him like he was a block of cheese Give my horsey syphilis trichomoniasis Cut my horsey into bits Black junk on his leg Make your horsey beg Make a sauce that’s ready to please Horsey Sauce, how much does it cost? Are you lost in Horsey Sauce? Horsey Sauce, how much does it cost? Please defrost my Horsey Sauce Horsey Sauce, how much does it cost? Are you lost in Horsey Sauce? Horsey Sauce, how much does it cost? Please defrost my Horsey Sauce
17.
Dutch Masters 03:33
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Orp! Orp! Orp! You sure as hell know how to get ‘em Said the funny guy in the blue tie With coffee machines and computers in sockets This cool guy had Dutch Masters in his pocket Orp! Orp! Orp! Ah, you’ll be a guinea pig if you can read this And yes, it’s exactly two pages With typewriters and lights in sockets He had Dutch Masters in his pocket
18.
Yea Sayings 00:21
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Oh yeah! oh yay! I clean my sink every single day Oh no! Oh my! I’m afraid it’s time to say goodbye... Goodbye!
19.
Eliot's New Life 00:35
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(Instrumental)
20.
Trickster Coyote 04:48
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Who’s that fluffy kitty? Who’s that funny wolf? By golly it’s he Trickster Coyote He aint a cat He aint a wolf He aint no wolf He’s got money He’s Trickster Coyote But do you know who he is? He’s got money He takes a piss Oooooo Trickster Coyote, Trickster Coyote He’s known as Frank Works in a bank Oooooo Trickster Coyote Who’s that hairy tropical fish? Who’s that fish who’s taking a piss? Trickster Coyote But do you know who he is? He buys me tennis rackets He buys me a snack Piss, piss, he’ll never miss But you gotta pay him back Oooooo Trickster Coyote, Trickster Coyote He’s known as Frank Works in a bank Oooooo Trickster Coyote He’s known as Frank Works in a bank He’s known as Frank Works in a bank He’s Trickster Coyote He aint Craig Cote
21.
Did Ya' Listen To The Cult Dud? 00:37
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Did ya listen to The Cult, dud, Cult, dud, Cult dud? Did ya listen to The Cult, dud, dud, Cult, dud? No! Didn’t listen to The Cult, dud, Cult, dud, Cult dud Didn’t listen to The Cult, dud, dud, Cult, dud Well then… Ya better listen to The Cult, dud, Cult, dud, Cult dud Ya better listen to The Cult, dud, dud, Cult, dud Ok, ok! I’ll listen to The Cult, dud, Cult, dud, Cult dud I’ll listen to The Cult, dud, dud, Cult, dud
22.
Chapstick Makes Me Sick 02:24
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Dry, dry, my lips are dry Too much Comet and apple pie Rip the skin right off my face Rub some ChapStick all over the place Tony Denaris, Tony Denaris, Tony Denaris Quick, quick, get the stick ChapStick makes me sick Tony Denaris, Tony Denaris, Tony Denaris Quick, quick, get the stick ChapStick makes me sick Tony Denaris, Tony Denaris, Tony Denaris
23.
Flat Foot 07:30
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See my feet, they’re really neat I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot Everybody knows I’ve got a big nose I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot Everybody knows I’ve got big toes But my feet are flat, how do you like that? I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot What did you say? I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot I cut my toes, blood squirted up your nose I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot Who the hell knows where the guts go I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot Everybody knows I’ve got big toes But my feet are flat, how do you like that? I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot What did you say? I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot I cut my toes, blood squirted up your nose Who the hell knows where the guts go See my feet, they’re really neat Everybody knows I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot I’m Flat Foot Blood squirted up your nose How do you like that? They’re really neat Everybody knows Who the hell knows? Everybody knows Who the hell knows? I cut my toes Solo, solo Star, star The dead heads Flat Foot A big nose End
24.
I'm A Taco 05:17
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Yes I’m a Taco, I’m goin’ to lunch Want to come help me throw out my trash Ha ha, Taco, Taco Ha ha, Taco, Taco, ugh! Taco uses secret code, makes me sandwiches Gives us smelly chocolate bunnies and jelly rolls Is he high? No! Ehhhh, we are Taco, Taco, so smart Taco, Taco, so shifty Taco, Taco, so damn nifty Taco, Taco, so smart Taco, Taco, so happy Taco, Taco, so damn snappy Look, there’s a girl, ha ha ha I think I’m getting hard Taco isn’t…he’s gay. Ehhhh, but we aren’t Murders gardens, kills wildlife Gives us water and not orange juice Let’s microwave his tuna Let’s microwave Taco Taco, Taco, so smart Taco, Taco, he rules Taco, Taco, so damn cool Taco, Taco, so smart Taco, Taco, got big feet Taco, Taco, so damn neat Does he drain his tuna? No Can he write songs? No Is he 16? No way! That’s cuz he’s gay Does he watch Silver Spoons? Yes Does he kill his kittens? Yes Did he run out of gel? Yes His hair’s a mess Taco’s selling purifiers Guess our water will suck Guess he doesn’t wash his tub Guess he’s got all the luck Ha ha, Taco, Taco Ha ha, I’m a Taco Ha ha, Taco, Taco Ha ha, you’re a Taco Ha ha, Taco, Taco Ha ha, I’m a Taco Ha ha, Taco, Taco Ha ha, you’re a Taco
25.
Librarian Torture 01:27
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Nerp, Nerp, Nerp, Nerp….
26.
BZW-Elementfremd 04:51
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Instrumental/Noise/Spoken
27.
Worm Farm 02:30
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Farmer Brown has wormies in his hay, every day He sees his kitty sucking on them every day, every day Chicken, head, chicken, head Eat that worm Come on down to the Worm Farm Mr. Doherty has wormies in his beard Mr. Doherty has termites in his beard Girl, boy, girl, boy Eat that worm Aint that weird? Eat that germ, eat that sperm Eat that worm at the worm farm
28.
Limey Song 01:43
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Blow that bubble, Limey Blow that bubble now What flavor is it? Lime? Chomp, chomp Bitch, slut, queer, polar bear Limey! Wear those ugly clothes, Limey Wear those ugly clothes now What color are they? Lime? You’re mint Limey, Limey song Limey, I hate Limey
29.
I Love Kim Ragzdale 03:34
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Kim Ragzdale, Kim Ragzdale You drive your daddy’s car You don’t get very far Inside Mr. Delongchamp I love you Kim Even though you have hair up your nose Everybody knows I love you I love you Kim Even though your teeth aren’t too crooked Everybody knows I love you
30.
Sandwich Fort 01:14
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(instrumental/spoken word)
31.
Life Is Mint 00:22
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Life Is Mint...
32.
Mary Had A Little Lamb 03:35
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(traditional lyrics)
33.
Mr. Rogers: On Bastard Bridge 02:12
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34.
The Funeral: with Mr. Rogers & Chef Brocket 05:47
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35.
Land Of Make-Believe: Corny Goes Camping 04:25
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36.
Flat Foot (Toucan Sam Dance Remix) 02:42
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37.
Lassie: Mysterious Phone Call (Day Four) 04:57
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about

Tracks 1-11:
The Dead Heads Haunted Camping Adventure: The Search For Flat Foot
Recorded Summer/Fall 2021.

Tracks 12-26:
Professor Dud (Remastered 2021)
Original Album Recording: January 1990
Recorded in one night with only a cassette boombox and Yamaha PSS-680 keyboard.

Tracks 27-37
Lost/Bonus tracks
(Click on each individual track for additional info)

credits

released October 29, 2021

Groady Guss and Animal Anderson

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The Dead Heads

The Dead Heads...a musical plate of pot roast fat ... all started wayyy back with just a Casio SK1 keyboard and a boombox.

We are MINT.

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